TRJE 323: A Valuable Lesson

Photo By Regis Jack

“It’s all about emphasis and tone. If you say, ‘Hey Hey Hey,’ you’re nobody in particular. If you say, ‘Hey Hey Hey,” you’re Fat Albert, but if you say Hey Hey Hey, then your Dwayne from What’s Happening!!” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week a lesson I (sort of) learned in college, plot holes, Jedi, nudity, and other stuff.

College is all about learning, but it is imperative that you learn the most important lesson of all. You are PAYING to attend these classes. College costs money. Either money you have, money your parents have, money the Government will give you, or money you will have to pay back. But it’s important to know you are paying THEM. They are providing YOU a service. The college is here for YOU. If you feel you are not getting your money’s worth, you have a right to complain. But be nice. Always be nice. A lot of young people don’t really think about that — because they are stupid. Everyone is stupid up until about 30, but college kids are so much more stupider. Get value from your money. Make the college work for you.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is episode s09e04(323) for Monday, February 1, 2016 and clocked in at 28 minutes, 42 seconds

TRJE 322: To The East Side (Moving On Up)

Photo By Regis Jack

“I thought David Bowie was immortal. I wore out my VHS of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars long long ago. I wanted to be him when I grew up. I wanted to do what he could. You see, Ziggy played guitar.” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week snow, ice, Trump, moving, and other random stuff.

Whores. All of us. Deep down, everyone is a whore. Each one of us is sensitive about something and will eventually go off the rails on a tirade because … well … just because. There may seem to be a trigger, but there is not. Not all of the things I mentioned have any relation with each other. These are just things. Like a bowl or a spoon. Although we all know there is no spoon. But there is an I in team.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is episode s09e03(322) for Monday, January 25, 2016 and clocked in at 20 minutes, 47 seconds

TRJE 321: Painting The Town Red

Photo By Regis Jack

“Hope not ever to see Heaven. I have come to lead you to the other shore; into eternal darkness; into fire and into ice.” ― Dante Alighieri, Inferno

This week painting the town red, LSD is useful, a real personal boom box, and other random stuff.

Timothy Leary (not related to Dennis Leary or Timothy Dalton) was considered the most dangerous man in America by Richard Nixon, yet psychologists are still following his theories on LSD and Psylocibin being used in psychology and well being of humans. You see, humans in their natural habitat, living life without drugs and alcohol, are really just completely insane, depressed, stressed, hormonal, multi-personality people waiting to commit suicide — or is that just me?

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is episode s09e02(321) for Monday, January 11, 2016 and clocked in at 25 minutes, 14 seconds

TRJE 320: I’m Seeing Someone

Photo By Regis Jack

“I’m gonna grab 2016 by the back of the hair and bang it like a transexual porn star.” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week I’m totally unprepared, and other random stuff.

It’s a new year. Well, not a total new year. It’s really just new in a number, but nothing else has really changed. You see, the passing of time does not make things happen. You make things happen. Don’t wait. Don’t think the new year will being brand new things. You can bring new things anytime of any year.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is episode s09e01(320) for Monday, January 4, 2016 and clocked in at 25 minutes, 46 seconds

TRJE 319: Well, I Guess This Is It

Picture Unrelated

“*Cough* *Cough* *Cough* … *Cough* … *Cough* … … *Cough* *Cough* … Let’s do this.” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week Christmas Eve Shooting, naked pictures, alone time, crayons , and other random stuff.

Hope you have a happy holiday, don’t shoot anyone, and don’t kill yourself.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is Season 8, Episode 08.319 for Monday, December 28, 2015 and clocked in at 22 minutes, 29 seconds

TRJE 318: A Trash Bag Filled With Vegetable Soup

TRJE 318 by Regis Jack on

“I just want to thank everyone for listening. Really I do. You could be spending your time with your family or learning a new skill or making yourself a better person, but you’ve chosen to spend it with me. For that, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week thinking cars, placenta pills, beauty, and other random stuff.

No, I have not seen Star Wars. No I did not have advance tickets. Yes I want to see it. Why didn’t I go? Because over the years I’ve had bad experiences in movie theaters. Bad sound quality, poor picture quality (includes being out of frame), annoying people (who I feel like I really need to punch in the throat), etc. And this has happened on some big opening movies. Theaters don’t care about the quality of their product anymore and it saddens me.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is Season 8, Episode 51.318 for Monday, December 21, 2015 and clocked in at 16 minutes, 42 seconds

Mr Claus, I Presume?

(KJV) Revelation 12:9 “And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”

(NIV) Revelation 12:9 “The great dragon was hurled down-that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.”

According to these ancient texts, Satan and his angels were cast out to Earth. But where? The tropics? The Bronx? China? No. This was punishment. They were exiled to the isolated frozen tundra of the North Pole.

Upon their arrival on Earth, God transformed the angels; they lost their powers, their wings, and their physical bodies were reduced in size. Satan held on to his power as best he could, but could not prevent his transformation. No longer the dragon nor the serpent. He was human. His power diminished.

The years passed, Satan gathered his strength and his angels built their fortress. He could sense all of the humans of the world, see into their minds, and manipulate their dreams. He knew when they were sleeping and when they were awake. He knew if they were bad or good. And he needed them to be bad. He needed them to turn away from God and to worship him. Satan’s strength increased with each follower.

Satan focused his efforts on the children. They were easier to deceive and saw the world in simpler terms — good, evil, black, white — no shades of grey. To gain their trust he would grant their wishes. Whatever they wanted, he would provide. He would become the Saint of Giving — at least in their minds. As the children dreamt of sugar-plums, he would poke around in their dreams and insert images of himself, dressed in red and black, giving presents to the good children and coal to the bad.

The children would tells stories of him that would spread over time and as they grew into adulthood they would tell those stories to their children. Satan never have to grant any wishes, nor give any presents. Parents would give gifts in his name, well, in the name of the Saint, in a name so similar to his own — Santa. All he had to do was provide the idea, the humans would do the rest.

The children now looked to the Saint as the giving god and ignored the Christ. Satan deceived the whole world. He looked over his empire and laughed, “Ho, Ho, Ho!”

TRJE 317: A Christmas Story

TRJE 317 by Regis Jack on

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, Rohypnol — I can’t seem to remember anything else after that.

This week holidays, nudity, and a new Christmas story, and other random stuff.

On the 12th day of Christmas my dealer gave to me, 12 bales of cocaine, 11 new needles, 10 hits of Molly, 9 Crack Whores, 8 bottles of NyQuil, 7 ounces Cannabis, 6 shots of whiskey, 5 GOLD BONGS, 4 Psilocybin Shrooms, 3 e-Cigs (with THC), 2 Adderall and Rohypnol.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is Season 8, Episode 50.317 for Monday, December 14, 2015 and clocked in at 19 minutes, 52 seconds

TRJE 316: This is Why We Fail

TRJE 316 by Regis Jack on

“Sometime I just want to give up all my worldly possessions and walk the Earth like Caine. Except with a cell phone, high speed internet, credit cards, and a chauffeur — or what I call, living off the land.” – The Distracted Philosopher

This week rude people, stupid people, naked people, Nick Offerman, and other random stuff.

So many people are rude, impatient, and obnoxious. They don’t think of … they don’t think, and they need to.

You can find all links referred to in the show (well, some of them) on my twitter feed @regisjack.

This is Season 8, Episode 49.316 for Monday, December 7, 2015 and clocked in at 17 minutes, 17 seconds


I have been reading the “Peeved” column of my local paper (the place where people who don’t have access to Facebook, Twitter, or the internet write in to complain and troll) and came across a few posts where individuals are complaining about — and others are defending — walking/running on the roads instead of the sidewalk when a sidewalk is clearly available.

I learned early in life not to play in the road, because — cars big, me little — and in a fight the cars always win, many times with a large squishy sound, kinda like running over a garbage bag full of vegetable soup. But it seems others have come to the conclusion that the road is safer because the sidewalk is dangerous. One person, who claimed to have been “running nearly 40 years” (I assume not continuously), claimed the sidewalks are uneven due to tree roots and the road is safer. Another told a story of how they tripped on an uneven sidewalk and almost fell, so now they jog on the road because it’s safer.


In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, “You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.”

If you think being on the road with moving cars driven by people who don’t know how to drive (which is everyone) is safer than a location not in the car’s path — well, there’s not much I can do to help you.

It’s people like this who make rash decisions based on a specific incident by placing the blame on something other then themselves (in this case, the sidewalk) and they cannot understand how it could possibly be their fault or how they could change their behavior to prevent the incident.

If they were unable to pay attention to their surroundings and watch where they were going on the sidewalk, I don’t have much confidence they can do that on the road either. It could be worse if they are the type to listen to music through headphones in both ears while jogging — that way they can’t hear anything else, like a car, or car horn, or someone screaming, or a mugger coming up behind them to attack.

But at least they feel safe.

This way of thinking is the same as the people who will never change their minds because they “believe” something to be true. I’m not just talking politics or religion, it could be Santa Claus, the moon landing was fake, John Edwards can talk to the dead, Bill Gates is going to give me money if I share his picture, Mister Rogers was a marine who killed hundreds, or any urban legend. Facts, evidence, or tangible proof will never matter because these people do not want to be wrong about their beliefs.

Side note: Just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t make it true.

People also make these rash decisions because they are impatient — which means they are also rude and obnoxious. These are the type of people who will tweet their complaints the instant an incident happens to ensure everyone understands they are the ones being wronged by someone else. They take no responsibility themselves.

I was reading article on Mashable written by a flight attendant. People are rude to her as soon as they get on the plane. If the plane’s late, it’s her fault. If the alcohol prices are too high, they tweet a complaint addressed to her specifically (because, you know, she controls the prices). People also argue again and again about the airline policies and rules as if she has the power to change them, right there, right now. Impatient people — blaming someone else — because they can.

This impatience extends to the American justice system. The legal system is slow, but the court of public opinion, influenced by the media, can deliver immediate results by shunning the offenders (regardless if the allegations are true or false, that doesn’t matter). This is also why we support people such as Batman and Dexter — they are quick and only hurt bad people, so it’s ok.

Another form of impatience is the labeling of people. People need to categorize people so that their preconceived ideals of that “type” of person can take over and tell them everything they need to know about that person instead of spending time learning about the actual individual. It’s quick and no patience is required.

Everything needs to be immediate. Instant gratification. Blame someone else. 99 Notifications and a bitch ain’t one.

People don’t seem to be in life for the long game. They are short sighted, impatient, never thinking deeply about anything, and it’s never their fault.

This is what makes them feel safe.

It makes me want to do a hard reset on the universe.